Things I've done recently that I haven't written about

Though I'm sure it'd all be immensely entertaining. In no particular order:

1. ILLEGAL: Gone to a wedding in Orlando where I snapped a picture of a woman's feet because she was wearing a teal suit and mermaid pink, pearly shoes. Why God, why?

2. ON SECOND THOUGHT: Gone to the Orlando Fringe Festival and ended up wolfing down a lamb-ladden gyro in seven minutes and seeing gay-and-proud comedian Paul Hutcheson recount his life's disasters. I left with the memory of a dragon-covered flapping penis seared into my mind for the rest of my life. Good show. My hands still smell like that white gyro sauce. So do my friend's pants, no doubt.

3. KINDA WORK: Interviewed beauty blogger afrobella and kept straying off-topic to wine and Buju. We made plans to meet up at the Best of the Best next week.

4. VROOM: Paid a short-tempered auto center employee more than $50 for an oil change. Spoiling your car with fully synthentic oil is such a thankless job--until you get on the highway.

5. IT'S A GIRL: Planned a baby shower in half a day and pulled it off with superb aplomb the following day--with the help of the pregnant friend's Mom, of course. God bless Jamaican jerk pork.

6. MORE FYAH: Covered the wildfires in Central Florida. I've shampooed and deep conditioned four times and still can't get the scent of wood-smoked bacon out of the curly tresses.

7. WORM: Bought six books, borrowed two more and been enjoying that full-up feeling of knowing there are Things To Be Read.

8. IT STARTED WITH A CHAIR: Watched Juno. It was really good. Seriously. Go watch it.

9. MIDNIGHT: Called my best girlfriend, threw on a bikini and went to the beach at midnight with a hidden bottle of merlot and two wine glasses. We left with the memory of a streaker's flapping penis seared into our minds for the rest of our innocent lives.

10. MORE VINO: Escaped work (early?) at 7 p.m., downed a glass of white zin at the beach, rolled up the jeans--obviously not far enough because they got soaked to the knees anyway--and sat on my reporter's notebook in the sand staring at the horizon.

11. WE READAY: Bought a plane ticket to D.C. for D.C. Carnival.

12. INSANITY: Visited there a few times. Or somewhere nearby.

13. CRIED: And cried some more.